What is a Dominant?

So a while back I had told you that I was going to assign myself homework. The asignment was "What does being a Dominant mean to me?". Sadly, due to being busy, lazy, and forgetful, the assignment has been left by the way side....until now.

So what does being a Dominant mean? To be mean, demanding, and uncaring? Not to me. You look at Websters definition here http://www.merriam-webster.com/netdict/dominant . I don't like any of these definitions. None of them really mean anything but the superior person. I don't believe that is what a Dominant is at all. In a D/s both people, IMO, are on equal levels as far as being a person. Neither is more superior of a person than the other, just different in how they serve the other. But a Dominant doesn't serve the submissive ? I think this is wrong. I believe in a D/s relationship both parties are serving the other, they difference is how they go about it. I believe a good Dominant is one that serves his/her sub as much as they expect there sub to serve Them. I'm going to start relating this more towards me now.

I am a new Dom and am still trying to find my way. My "core" values as a Dom are fairly simple in my opinion. The most important is to be protecting and mindful of your well being both physical and mental at all times. You are mine. You are my treasure, my most precious jewel, and it is my duty, obligation, and desire to keep you safe. As much as it your "job" to give me what I need and want, it is my duty and obligation to do the same. This is where I have been lacking. It is my job to make you feel good about our relationship and your submission. You have said that you have not felt submissive, part of this is my fault because I have not accepted ytour submission and given my dominance as I should. Some of this is learning each other and some of this is learning the roles. I really want to sit down with you and do a "negotiation" of what all we need to do to really make this work. My biggest problem is that I expect people to do things to please me without asking or telling them. This has always been an issue of mine even with management. How can I expect you to do something if you don't know I want it right?

Here is a few things I would like to see in our relationship. I would like you to take care of my apartment, keep it tidy and clean. I am not the messiest, but I'm also not the cleanest. I will try and go out of my way to make chores for you. If we need, maybe I can put together a daily list of chores and weekly list of chores. Whatever it is you need, we will work towards this.

I want someone that is glad I am home. When I get home I want to be greeted. I want to know that you are glad that I am home. Now I'm not asking that you come and sit at my feet for 3 hours as soon as I get home, however I would like you to drop what you are doing, come give me a hug and a kiss, maybe cuddle for a few minutes if I've had a bad day, and get me a fresh drink.

If I am obviously having a bad day, especially if I am obviously frustrated, I want someone that will let me vent for a few minutes. I really do appreciate your input, but if I'm to the point of frustration, let me vent, thenm later, once I have cooled off tell me your input and talk with me about it.

I do like having the last decision and the ability to stop whatever topic it is that we/you are goinmg on about. However, just because I have the right and ability, does not mean I will always use it. At times when I ask you questions like "Where do you want to eat?" Don't get upset with me, I want your input. I will make the decision, but I want to do so with your input and my ow.